Friday, September 23, 2005

Thomas V. Cunningham is a Scum Bucket

While on a recent surf of the World Wide Web, I encountered a pop-up/come-on promising a free iPod which was, the con job claimed, a $449.99 value! In my best Leave it to Beaver voice I thought to myself 'Gee Wally, this looks like a real opportunity.'

As with most savvy Internet surfers I ignore these scams, however, my clicking the cancel button confirmed what many who know me claim, I'm an idiot. After all, I was using a Linux workstation and I was clicking a cancel button that looked just like a Windows cancel button? Okay or Cancel, either way, it didn't matter, a new browser window was going to open. Welcome to the "online rewards center."

The first thing you need to do, according to this come-on, is check to make sure the offer is available in your area by entering your zip code. Having clicked a Windows button, while using a Linux workstation, I entered 'ur-idiot' in the zip code field and hit the submit button, "Congratulations!" the resulting page proclaimed, "This promotion is available for consumers in ur-idiot!"

To further punish myself for being such a chump I decided to also fill out the next form. With my usual sophomoric humor, complete with the already confirmed 'ur-idiot' in zip code field, I filled out form ...

E-Mail Address:
First Name: Joe
Last Name: BlowMe
Address: 69 Your Mother’s Way
City: Mustang Ranch
State: NV
Zip Code: ur-idiot
Phone: 800-361-2682

… and clicked the submit button.

There are errors in what you just entered:

• USA zip codes must be in the form of XXXXX or XXXXX-XXXX with all digits.
• The phone number must consist of 10 numbers such as XXX-XXX-XXXX

Please correct the errors below and try again.

How could this be? What happened to "This promotion is available for consumers in ur-idiot!" What kind of scam was this? Of course we all know what kind of scam this was. Hell, sing it along with me ...

dot every i,
cross every t,
be lucky enough
to win lott-er-ies"

... and you might get the iPod before you grow old and go deaf, I doubt it, but you might.

So why is Thomas V. Cunningham a scum bucket? Simple, he's the head cheese of the "online rewards center." I welcome you to do your own research on Mr. Cunningham and his Internet empire. When you're finished give ol' Tom a call at 800-361-2682 and tell him what you think. I already know what I think, Thomas V. Cunningham is a scum bucket.

Other Internet companies Mr. Cunningham is in charge of are (a little known Internet hosting empire that probably specializes in porn) and Alabanza (how this company rips people off is still unknown to the author at the time of this writing).